Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
