Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
