He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
