just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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