We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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