where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I hope mine doesn't look like that
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
