omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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