We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
