I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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