shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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