dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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