At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
