We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
birth control should be required to get into college
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
