is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
