Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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