How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
