Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
