Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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