At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
