He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
