I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
