he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize