Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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