I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
