I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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