Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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