I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
