woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
