i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
