just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
