Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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