Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
