so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
