Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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