I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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