I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize