I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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