What a fucking waste of an outfit
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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