Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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