nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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