Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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