i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You pole danced in your parka.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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