real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
