Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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