I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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