She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
