I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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