Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
