So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
