So drunk its hurt
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
