Say something about gay babies.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
FUCK WHALES
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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