Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
vagina is talking i cant
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
