I'm really into asian looking animals
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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