I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
