This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
