Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
