Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
