there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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